Guest blog written by Ashley Martin, Healthcare Recruiter – JFC Medical
JFC Professional Development Class of 2017
By all accounts, I believe I come across as being self-assured and confident. I make an effort to look the part. Fake it til you make it, right? Despite outward appearances of confidence, I usually doubt my skills/abilities, and often spend way too much time in comparing myself to others. I have always been extremely competitive, and I want to be the best in everything I do. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, at times it causes stumbling blocks for me.
When I must do something that is not “in my wheelhouse,” I feel very insecure. I worry that I might not do the task “the right way,” or that I might not be living up to my own expectations. My parents have always had high standards for my sister and for me. Once I was even reprimanded for a 93% in a class. Now as an adult, I hold myself to those same high standards. Anxiety tends to flare up when someone else is more successful than I am, or if I am not doing as well as I believe I should be.
Since I have started at JFC, I have put added pressure on myself. This is the first position I’ve been in that is competitive by nature. As I previously mentioned, I am a naturally a competitive person, so that part doesn’t intimidate me. The recruiting piece has come naturally to me since the beginning, and I love what I do. The only piece of the job that has given me minor panic is the sales aspect. I have never been in a sales position before, and although I’m not an AE, the pressure of bringing in more business is often overwhelming for me. I often feel as if I am not doing enough or not doing that piece of the job well enough. And because I am the only full desk recruiter in Medical, this responsibility falls to me alone.
I fear rejection, and often feel like an inconvenience when I make sales calls. I’m afraid of being a bother or not knowing exactly the right thing to say if someone actually picks up the phone. So often, I have just reverted to recruiting because it is within my comfort zone. I know that this is not the best mindset to have, but that whisper of self-doubt is always in the back of my head telling me that I’m not good enough.
Through this course in Professional Development, I believe I have made strides in becoming more self-aware. I have been able to address my concerns with my team and with Mike and Christine, who are always endlessly supportive. We have worked recently to come up with more concrete plans in how to build the business, rather than just an abstract idea of growth. I do better with tasks and step-by-step plans. Without acknowledging my struggles and insecurities, I wouldn’t be able to move past them. Thanks to Emotional Intelligence 2.0, I believe I’m on my way to a more self-aware (and hopefully SUCCESSFUL) me!